Bob the Brit

Robert (or Rabbie) Burns is generally accepted to be Scotland’s finest poet. He was born in the village of Alloway on 25 January 1759 and died on 21 July 1796.

His best known works include the lyrics to ‘Auld Lang Syne’, ‘ A Red, Red Rose’, ‘A Man’s A Man for A’ That’, ‘To a Louse’, ‘To a Mouse’, ‘The Battle of Sherramuir’ and ‘Tam o’ Shanter’.

In 1801 a group of Burns’ friends got together on or about his birthday (bizarrely to commemorate the 5th anniversary of his death) with a special supper.

The tradition of ‘Burns Night’ on or around January 25th continues to this day amongst Scots – particularly expat Scots.

The main features of a ‘Burns Night’ supper are Scotch Whisky and Haggis, served with Turnips and Potatoes – or as they’re known colloquially ‘Neeps and Tatties’.

Traditionally a ‘Burns Night’ supper will start with the ‘Selkirk Grace’ – a traditional Scottish grace that Burns is said to have modified :

Some hae meat and canna eat;
And some wad eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat
And sae the Lord be thankit.

The main course of the meal will comprise the aforementioned Haggis, usually ‘piped in’ – that is, brought in to the room ceremonially, led by a piper playing the bagpipes. Once the haggis has circled the room, it is ‘addressed’ with some ceremony and the words to Burns’ poem ‘Address to a Haggis’:

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin’ race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight, (it is at this point that the Haggis is sliced open)
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm – reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
‘Bethankit’ hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade.
He’ll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow`rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, If ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

A toast to the Haggis is then drunk, with Scotch Whisky.

There are plenty of translations of the address around the Internet, but the original lowland Scottish, delivered with gusto is quite an impressive spectacle.

The Haggis is then served with the aforementioned Turnips and Potatoes, and plenty of Scotch Whisky.

Robert Burns was a well known freemason, and many Masonic lodges incorporate a Burns Night supper into their calendars.

This topic was suggested to me by Wayne, the barman in The Rising Sun public house in Stanford Le Hope, Essex.

The terms ‘delicacy’ and ‘bar snacks’ don’t sit well together, and I’m afraid this posting is no exception.

There’s no way to gloss this one up, in simple terms, ‘Pork Scratchings’ are deep fried pork rind.

A slightly more respectable form of cooked pork rind is ‘crackling’ – this is created by salting the flesh of a pork joint before roasting. The skin crisps during cooking and is usually served alongside a roast pork meal.

Scratchings, on the other hand, are deep fried and salted, and served cold in packets, much like potato crisps. The consensus is that they’re actually healthier than potato crisps, being high in protein and low in carbohydrates and have actually been taken on Arctic and Antarctic expeditions.

Tony Hart – who died in January 2009 was, in his own small way, one of the most influential artists in the United Kingdom in the late 20th century.

He first came to public attention in 1959 with a number of appearances on the BBC Children’s programme ‘Blue Peter’ – for which he also designed the programme’s distinctive ‘ship’ emblem. After his appearances on Blue Peter Hart went on to present the BBC TV programme ‘Vision On’ which ran from 1964 until 1976with Pat Keysell. ‘Vision On’ was primarily aimed at deaf children, and featured madcap film sequences (including some by Sylvester McCoy – who was the seventh actor to play Doctor Who). But it was Tony Hart’s relaxed and inspired approach towards art that inspired a generation of schoolchildren – he would demonstrate how to make ink stamps using halved potatoes, construct mosaics using dried pasta or sketch a massive cartoon on a car-park using a line roller.

A key feature of Vision On (and subsequent Tony Hart TV programmes) was ‘The Gallery’ which featured artwork sent in by young viewers – always followed by an invitation to send more artwork in, with an apology that the artwork could not be returned. Maybe there’s a BBC warehouse somewhere stacked with artwork by juvenile Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin… the place would be worth a fortune! But knowing the BBC they simply junked them.

After ‘Vision On’ Tony Hart was offered his own series ‘Take Hart’ which ran from 1977 to 1983 and then ‘Hartbeat’ which ran from 1984 to 1993. These series introduced the animated character ‘Morph’  – made from ‘Plasticine’ using a technique now known as ‘claymation’. The producers of the ‘Morph’ segments were Aardman Animations who went on to produce the award winning ‘Wallace and Grommit’ series of films.

Tony Hart retired from television in 2001 and died peacefully at his home in Surrey, having earlier suffered debilitating strokes that left him unable to paint or draw “the greatest cross I have to bear”, but to millions of children in the sixties and seventies, he was the inspiration for them to rick up a paintbrush, or crayon, or dried pasta for the first time.

In the 1986 film ‘Highlander’ the character Conor MacLeod (played by Christopher Lambert) has a bizarre conversation with Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (played by Sean Connery).

Ramirez: Haggis? What is haggis?

Connor MacLeod: Sheep’s stomach, stuffed with meat and barley.

Ramirez: And what do you do with it?

Connor MacLeod: You eat it.

Ramirez: How revolting!

This is one of those occasions when discretion over the contents of food is probably the safer option, few of us would ever eat a pork sausage if we stopped to consider that the only part of the pig isn’t processed for food is the oink!

Haggis is a Scottish ‘delicacy’ described by the Scottish poet Robert Burns as ‘great chieftain of the pudding race’. It is, as Conor MacLeod observes, traditionally made using the heart and lungs of either a pig or a lamb, minced and mixed with oatmeal, onion and spices and then stuffed into a sheep’s stomach. Although these days most are wrapped in more modern materials like some form of plastic.

While the ingredients of Haggis sound alarming, the final result, which is an effective way of utilising meat products that would otherwise be wasted. It’s often spicy and peppery and forms an important part of the ‘Full Scottish Breakfast’.

Haggis is widely available these days in supermarkets around Britain, and even by mail order, but if you can’t find readymade Haggis, or want the authentic Haggis experience, the basic recipe follows.

First you’ll need to find a butcher who can supply sheep’s heart, lungs, stomach and liver. The sheep’s stomach can be tricky, but beef bung (intestine) is more widely available and often used instead of sheep’s stomach.

Ingredients:

Set of sheep’s heart, lungs and liver (cleaned by a butcher)
One beef bung or sheep’s stomach.
3 cups finely chopped suet
One cup medium ground oatmeal
Two medium onions, finely chopped
One cup beef stock
Salt and pepper
One teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon mace

Method:

Trim off any excess fat and sinew from the intestine and, if present, discard the windpipe. Place in a large pan, cover with water and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for an hour or possibly longer to ensure that they are tender. Drain and cool.

Some chefs toast the oatmeal in an oven until it is thoroughly dried out (but not browned or burnt!)

Finely chop the meat and combine in a large bowl with the suet, oatmeal, finely chopped onions, beef stock, salt, pepper, nutmeg and mace. Make sure the ingredients are mixed well. Stuff the meat and spices mixture into the intestine until it’s just over half full. Then press to expel any air and tie the open ends tightly with string. Make sure that you leave room for the mixture to expand or else it may burst while cooking. If that looks likely then prick the haggis with a sharp needle to reduce the pressure.

Place in a pot and cover with water; bring to the boil then immediately reduce the heat and simmer gently, covered, for about three hours.

Maybe it’s easier to buy one ready made!

Traditionally the haggis is served with ‘Neeps and Tatties’ – that is turnips and mashed potatoes; and if you want to really make your haggis special, pour a large measure of scotch whisky into the haggis after it’s been cut open.

Blue Peter is a typically British institution, it’s a children’s television programme that has been running continuously since October 1958.

The format has remained pretty consistent through its fifty year history, two or three respectable young presenters demonstrate how to make things, care for pets and learn about  the world.

The programme was first broadcast in October 1958, introduced by Christopher Trace and Leila Williams. Miss Williams (a former Miss Great Britain) left the programme in 1962 and was replaced by Valerie Singleton who stayed with the programme until 1975, although she ceased to be one of the regular presenters in 1972.

It was the sixties that are often considered to be Blue Peter’s golden years.

The team of Peter Purves, Valerie Singleton and John Noakes proved to be both popular and informative, and shook off competition from ITV’s unashamed Blue Peter clone ‘Magpie’ (1968 to 1980).

There have been 34 presenters of Blue Peter at the time of writing, and many have gone on to presenting more mainstream television.

 

 

 

  

 

 

Blue Peter Pets

It was also in the sixties that the ‘Blue Peter pets’ were first introduced, with the acquisition of a puppy and a competition to name it. ‘Petra’, as the puppy was named, became a surrogate pet for millions of children, and after her death a statue was made of her and placed in the ‘Blue Peter Garden’ in the grounds of the BBC’s Television Centre. I say a statue of Petra, actually some years after the dog’s death in 1977 it was revealed that the original puppy had died a couple of days after the first broadcast and had been replaced.

Other ‘Blue Peter pets’ include ‘Shep’ a mischievous and excitable Border Collie that accompanied John Noakes, Shep’s excitability leading John Noakes to coining a popular catch-phrase “Get Down Shep!”.

Over the years Blue Peter has had nine dogs, nine cats, five tortoises and two parrots.

Blue Peter Badges

One of the first features of Blue Peter were ‘Blue Peter Badges’ – given as reward for various activities and achievements. Various grades of badge were available, from a white shield featuring the Blue Peter logo (designed, incidentally by Tony Hart) up to a gold badge for an outstanding achievement – dragging a pensioner for a burning building or similar.

 

 

 

 

 

 One I made Earlier

The phrase “Here’s one I made earlier.” was attributed to the presenter ‘Christopher Trace, and for may of my generation evokes Blue Peter’s regular features of making interesting and useful’ articles from household rubbish, including yoghurt pots, coat hangers and toilet roll tubes, connected with ‘sticky tape’ or ‘Sticky backed plastic’ – brand names are never mentioned on the BBC. 

Probably the best remembered of these were the ‘advent crown’ – first made in the early sixties from four wire coat hangers and lots of tinsel

and ‘Tracey Island’ a homemade version of the best selling ‘Thunderbirds’ tie-in.

 Scandals

The replacement of the puppy ‘Petra’ was the first of several ‘scandals’ that Blue Peter has endured in its fifty year history. In 1998 the presenter ‘Richard Bacon’ resigned after being exposed by a tabloid newspaper taking cocaine; in 2007 the programme was involved in controversy regarding fake competition winners and the naming of the cat ‘Socks’ – which was supposed to have been by a phone poll, but the public vote was over-ruled by the Blue Peter production team.  

That Blue Peter has survived with so few scandals is probably tribute to Biddy Baxter who edited the programme from 1965 to 1988, it was she, more than anybody who ensured the direction, morality and ethics of the show.